I should have paid better attention at yesterday's First Aid presentation. When I arrived home, I promptly sliced off the end of my thumb. Not to practice First Aid or anything. Because I was careless in slicing an onion. That side of the thumb is flat now. At least I missed the thumbnail. And the flap of skin fell off this morning, so it doesn't get caught on everything.
Did you know that humans depend on their opposable thumbs for many things, none the least of which is pulling up their pants? Did you know that Google does not like the spelling of "opposable?" Did you know that though onions do not make Mrs. Hillbilly Mom cry, they make her thumb smart. Not smart as in "intelligent." Smart, as in, "feels like acid is eating away my skin." Which is true. Onions use Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's body fluid to make sulfuric acid, with which they torture her.
Onions conspire against Mrs. Hillbilly Mom.