Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Maximum Security

There is a problem child among our students this year. Not such a problem as the dude who faked the heart attack. A more pervasive, simmering, wear-us-down kind of problem child. Let's call her Pippi.

Pippi is not to be let out of class. Any time. For any reason. She is a traveler. A roamer. She has a list of excuses ten miles long.

I forgot my book.
I forgot my pencil.
I brought the wrong book.
I need to go to the bathroom.
I have to call home.
The office wants to see me.
I forgot which class I was going to.
I need to go to the bathroom to pull back my hair for the lab.
I don't have the right shoes. Guess I can't do the lab.
I don't like group work. Guess I can't do the lab.
I left my backpack in your room. Go unlock it. (while I was on duty after school)
I had an accident.
The nurse is going to call me out.
I have to go to the office to see if I ride the bus home.

You get the idea. Never mind that it is HIGH school, by cracky, and this chick is still having accidents. I call them on-purposes. She only did that once, with the male gym teacher. It's but another ploy to see if she can worm her way out of class. I have not let her toes cross my threshold yet. Once in, it's like maximum security. Which she might as well get used to now.

Yesterday, she started the bathroom crap. I told her that it was 7th hour. She'd just have to hold it until school was out. And if she had an accident, she would be on her way home anyway. She asked to go three times. "But I can't hoooold it!" I told her I thought she could. The entire faculty has been warned not to fall for this trick. Sometimes, I give her a job such as handing back papers, and she miraculously forgets that her bladder is exploding.

When the bell rang, I took my position in the hall, leaning against my doorway. Pippi walked down the hall, past the girls' bathroom, without even a sidelong glance. So much for her bursting bladder.


Dale said...

What kind of accident did Pippi have with the gym teacher???

Hillbilly Mom said...

Pippi told him she pooped her pants, so she could leave class and not dress out and participate. The Pippi-handler got her some spare clothes from the social worker, and told Pippi that Coach would have a box of clothes ready for her next time, so she would never have to leave class.

The actual pooping was never verified.

Chickadee said...

Anything to get out of class. Sigh. If she put even just a smidge of that "creative" energy into her school work, she'd probably do alright.

We've got a girl like that in our brownie troop. She wanders off and follows a different drummer...Tuesday I caught her walking away from our group and I said "Where are you going?" To which she replied, "Oh. My shoe accidentally fell off over there and I'm going over there to get it."

The girl is 6.

Hillbilly Mom said...

My psychic powers sense a DoNot in the making.

Pippi can pencil a mean essay...if you give her a pencil. It's the other stuff that trips her up. I think she just guesses random answers to get done. So she can beg to go elsewhere.