Sunday, April 24, 2011

One Woman's Carnage Is Another Woman's Recreation

Last night after our egg-dyeing shindig, as we were taking the dry eggs off the wire bunny-shaped egg rack to put them in Frig, the #1 son proclaimed, "I SO want to smash them with a bat."

No. He's not some psycho egg-beater unconsciously emitting a cry for help. It's a little childhood game his grandma came up with. For which I still have not forgiven her. #1 was only 4 the first time. His cousin was around 12. We had packed up our dyed eggs and taken them to my mom's house, because #1 wanted to show her. She oohed and aahed over them.

After dinner, Grandma told the grandkids, "Let's go outside and hide some eggs." They took the colored eggs to the front yard. I'm not sure how it all came about, but the next thing I knew, Cousin had my wooden baseball bat, a give-away from a Cardinals game during my childhood, machine-autographed by Phil Gagliano, I might add, and was using it to hit #1's colored eggs, tossed to him by Grandma! Am I the only one to feel the horror here? Oh, the humanity!

I could not stop the senseless carnage. There went my egg salad. And my Cardinals' memorabilia. And #1's innocence. For the next several years, my mom organized the same game of eggball. I held my tongue. But I refused to watch. The first year that The Pony was big enough to pulverize Easter's multicolored symbols, I had to let it out. My mom said she was only trying to have fun with the kids. They weren't hurting anything. And they enjoyed it so much! Yeah. Make me the Easter Grinch.

We don't mention it anymore. Unless one of the kids brings it up. And I certainly don't take our colored eggs there. If Grandma wants to beat the yolk out of two dozen eggs, she's going to have to dye them herself before the carnage ensues.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

Call me thrifty, cheap, unfunloving; but those eggs are supposed to be the healthy thing the kids eat with all that candy! Not to mention deviled eggs and potato salad to go with the Easter ham. What is wrong with your mom!!!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

We're still trying to figure that one out.

labbie1 said...

I am with your mom! I would enjoy a good game of egg baseball! :)

I never trusted those eggs after they were boiled, handled by little hands, dyed with who knows what (yeah they say it is food safe, but so is saccharin righ?) and left outside in the sun.

Eggball anyone? What a hoot!

Hillbilly Mom said...

You people! Eggs are not for batting! And for the record, my eggs were colored, went straight to the fridge, then to Grandma's house and into her fridge. We use plastic eggs to hunt, lest we misplace a real egg inside the house.