We have a huge problem with apathy around the Mansion. I'm not even sure the dwellers care what apathy is.
Last night, I was in a hurry to make something quick for supper, having toiled from 7:30 to 4:30 at Newmentia. My larder was limited to frozen items. I had no desire to stir a pot or shake a skillet or twiddle my thumbs while the oven worked its slow magic. So I seized on a brand-spanking new bag of Tyson All Natural White Meat Chicken Chunks. Or as we call them around here: chicken nuggets. Any way you slice it, it's chicken. Tyson chicken.
Don't ask about the years I spent two weekends, fall and spring, loading chickens into cages and loading the cages onto semi trucks for hauling to a Tyson factory, as a fundraiser at Cuba, Missouri. You'll never eat another nugget. But my kids have not had this experience. Nor has Chicken H. So I figured some chicken that cooks in eight minutes, some salad, and a choice of red grapes, cantaloupe, Gala or Golden Delicious apples, or strawberries, would make a fast meal.
Au contraire. The food itself was the least of my worries. Have you ever tried asking three guys to make a decision? Separately. In a timely manner? It goes a little something like this:
How many chicken nuggets do you want?
#1-I don't know. Whatever.
You need to tell me, so I'll know how many to cook.
I don't know. How big are they? What's a serving?
Five. Five is a serving.
I'll have eight or ten.
The Pony-I don't know.
I need to put them in the oven. How many.
I'm going out to gather eggs.
How many nuggets do you want?
I don't KNOW!
Don't get horsey with me! How many.
Just pick a number. And you're done.
I kind of need to know, so I make enough.
I don't know how many.
How many will you eat?
Forget it! Eight! I give up! Don't make anything for me. I'll find something!
How dare I ask how much food to prepare! You'd think I asked them to donate a testicle to Lance Armstrong. It's not like they were expected to have a hand in the preparation. All they had to do was predict how many chicken nuggets they wanted to consume. Criminy! Why don't I just buy a truckload of nuggets and cook them all up and pour them out in a trough and let the dudes feed? That's a rhetorical question. No need to answer in the comments.
For the record, all prepared nuggets were consumed.