Saturday, April 9, 2011

Turbo And HM, Sitting In A Tree...

I spent the day sitting the light fantastic with my new best friend, TurboTax. He's not such so much a new best friend as a new acquaintance that I hang out with because I need something from him. Like any such new buddy, he's a bit of a disappointment. I find him overly inquisitive, and a tad domineering. He's also repetitive. And controlling.

TurboTax seems to be jealous of my old pal, Missouri Long Form. He tried to make MoLF march to his drummer. MoLF and I were not having it. We left Turbo to contemplate the error of his ways, and set out on our own tab to reminisce. Hum a little The Way We Were for us, will you? That's nice. You really should look into professional humming.

MoLF and I have an ongoing arrangement. I itemize federal deductions even though I don't have to, and even though sometimes Schedule A gives me a bit smaller deduction than the standard. But MoLF makes up for it by throwing money my way. We're copacetic.

This year, MoLF has her hand out. At first, I blamed Turbo for presuming that he could take MoLF's place. But after MoLF and I worked through our differences, I discovered that Turbo really did know his stuff. To the tune of $35. It mattered not that I took less by itemizing. MoLF was not willing to deal this year. So I find it necessary to peel off a couple of Benjamins to pacify MoLF. Thank the Gummi Mary, though, that Turbo has a damaged baker's dozen of his own friends in federal places named Benjamin.

Too bad that it cost me more to befriend Turbo than the $35 he thinks he's saving me. That dude is nothing special. I thought he would make my life easier by allowing me to file online. Because if there's anything I hate, (well, besides most people), it's the thought of paying to file my taxes. I could have concluded the best way to go, mailed my printed-out forms, and saved my own self that $35. And while I'm raking myself over the coals, darn me! For paying an extra house payment on the principle every month. There went my sweet mortgage deduction, reduced almost 50%.

I don't know how working people survive these days.


knancy said...

It amazes me every year to hear the conversations of everyday tax payers. They pay someone else to file their EZ forms and get a quick refund that takes another chunk of their refund and then go buy crap that I woudn't have in my house. They seem to feel like they are in competition to see who gets the biggest refund. I am so tired of explaining they are just getting their own money after being used as a base for the government's interest accruement. For as little as I ever got paid per my two week paycheck, I always took as much of that paycheck as I possibly could. When It Really Sucks (IRS) time comes around then I usually plan on paying $75 or less. My goal is to match federal to my state taxes: every other year $1 (they owe me $1 then I owe them $1).
I think I'll put some Joan Baez on now.......

Hillbilly Mom said...

Tax time is Hillbilly Christmas. It amazes me how people who earn less than Moneybags H and I have withheld rake in a huge refund. Some people who don't work at all, when you get right down to it.

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

Your comments section has twice rejected my comment on this post. I give up.

Hillbilly Mom said...

For some reason, my comments section has an aversion to you. Everyone else's comments pop up in my email, but not yours. It's like you're the invisible Mommy. I can never see yours until I go into the dashboard. I blame Blogger.