Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Refresher Course Is In Order

New CPR guidelines say that chest compressions without mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is even more effective than the two together.

That is really good news if you are a male in Hillmomba prone to heart-stopping episodes. That's because all of your male teenage future resuscitators find it absolutely repulsive to even think about giving another male mouth-to-mouth. I know this, because many of them chose that topic to write about in an assignment about what was learned from a recent issue of Science World magazine.

Who knew that dudes would wait for somebody to call 9-1-1 rather than get down to huffing lifesaving exhalations into another dude's mouth? Somewhere, somehow, Hillmomban officials have missed the boat. The boat loaded with pamphlets explaining the difference between mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and FRENCH KISSING! The boat with a video illustrating the difference between CPR and SOFT-CORE, SAME-SEX PR0N! Seriously.

These young lads are not as attractive and in-demand to the dying as they imagine themselves to be.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am so happy to hear this. Personally, I would not want to wrap my lips around the mouths of most of the people I encounter. I did do mouth to mouth on my little dog once when she was poisoned and quit breathing. But, I firmly believe a dog's mouth to be cleaner than a human's. Even if they do lick their own butt!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Well. Perhaps that's too much information.