Monday, May 2, 2011

That's Not A Good Defense

Chalk up another one for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Never Ever List.

Right after lunch, within five minutes of starting class, I smelled an odor. My students have been warned about smelling up my classroom. I stopped what I was doing.

"Why do I smell an odor?"

"What kind of odor?"

"It wasn't here a minute ago. It's like nail polish. Something strong."

"We don't smell anything."

"It's Buffy."

"Yeah. It's me."

Buffy had moved away, and just returned a couple of weeks ago. She was sitting all alone in a row by the wall, her cohorts being in turn absent and in In-School Suspension. Buffy agreeably took the rap. She was right under my nose. She and I both knew it was not her.

"I've told you people not to smell up my room. Now I'm stuck with it. I'm going to start coughing. I just got over being sick, you know. I hope you're happy. Now I'm going to have to open a window. And since I'm right in front of it, I'll get a chill. Way to go, you guys."

"I got sprayed with something earlier."

"It's not you. You would have stunk up the room from the beginning. This just started."

"We don't smell it."

"I'll figure it out."

At the end of class, we had a few minutes left. Miss Tardy said, "Would this be a good time to finish my nails?" She set out three bottles of nail polish on her desk. "I have Cherry Red, Pronto Purple, and Blue Streak."

"I KNEW somebody had nail polish. NO! Now would NOT be a good time to FINISH your nails! Why would anybody think that was permissible? I TOLD you all at the beginning of the year not to get out anything that smells, or put on make-up during my class."

"Oh. I wasn't listening to you."

"You are not doing yourself any favors here."


Josh Hoyt said...

This is great:) unbagging cats linked me over. I love her posts and it looks like this will be a fun blog to follow.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Mum is the word, I won't tell him. Even if I want to. It is not, after all, my place to do so. Still, I just love the irony.

Have you ever clicked on "Letters To Gavin"? It is Wall-E, the wonder dog's blog. As you know, Wall-E is the puppy (now dog) that my little grandson, Gavin, couldn't keep. Loving my little grandson as I do, I began sending him post cards and letters from the dog. Being miserly, I settled on the blog ...... it being free and all. Stay with me here, I am laying the foundation for my punch line. Wall-E is a very friendly and endearing (and quite homely) little creature and has quite the following amoung those who frequent the kampground. They don't "officially" follow, but they read his epistles to his boy with regularity. One such follower was in just the other day. He had asked how to find me on Facebook, since he nor his wife could figure out how to e-mail ( I know, I know .... I thought I was technology challenged). I link the blog on my facebook page and they have discovered it. So, Kamper Follower asks whwere Wall-E is and I call out to the homely dog and ask if he would like to come into the office to say hello. Wall-E is always up for a meet and greet. He came into the space that is to be canine occupied only by invitation and went round the registration desk and gave the guy a sniff and a tail wag. Wall-E is very friendly, but he knows the drill ...... say hello and then get your butt back to Gramma. Kamper Follower looked perplexed and commented that Wall-E was a lot friendlier on his blog than he was in person.

Bad enough that I had to bite my tongue and not spill the beans ..... and say, "You do know that I write this ...... not the dog." But ..... I can't even blog about it, lest I offend him!!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Thank you for aiding and abetting me in the worst-kept secret on the innernets.

Early on, I checked out Wall-E. He really has a way with words. :) I just went back there again, and I must say, poor Wall-E looked miserable in his photos with Keena! Or maybe that's just his signature look. I enjoyed his take on helping you make the bed.