Sunday, July 3, 2011

Another Crime Solved

I fear that The Pony may go all Heidi on me and start saving bread. Only instead of saving soft white rolls for Grandmother with no teeth, he will be saving Little Caesar's breadsticks for his lunch the next day. Hopefully, he won't hide them in a shawl.

That was his plan yesterday, but he made the mistake of saving them in plain sight. I picked up pizza and breadsticks for the boys, and made a big salad for Farmer H and me. It was a grand salad, too. Romaine lettuce, mushroom, egg, cheese, tomato, and blazing chicken chunks, with ranch dressing. Farmer H was fiddling about in the yard with his goats. Actually, he was sitting on his John Deere Gator wearing a ridiculous hat and swim trunks, occasionally shouting, "Get out of there," after some of my flowering foliage was ingested. Goats really like their salad on the vine.

Farmer H said he would eat later, so I put his big salad in Frig. The Pony was full of pizza, and declared that he would save his breadsticks for lunch the next day. I cautioned the #1 son not to eat more than his share, because The Pony had spoken for his. #1 agreed.

Jump to the next day, when The Pony declared that he was hungry, and would like his breadsticks warmed up, please, along with some pizza sauce, when I had the time to devote to his meal preparation. He's a polite one, that Pony. And absolutely helpless in the kitchen. I told him I would be right there, to set them out on a plate.

If you had happened upon The Pony in the next thirty seconds, you might have inquired, "Why the long face?" Seems The Pony had discovered only two of his four breadsticks remained in the bag. He pointed a hoof at #1. Because according to The Pony, nobody else would have eaten his breadsticks. "Dad ate his salad, and said it was all he needed."

Of course you know where this story is headed. #1 denied consuming the breadsticks. Farmer H announced that he had eaten two with his salad, because he didn't know they were spoken for. Our case relied on the fact that Farmer H was told that his big salad was waiting on the top shelf of Frig. No mention was made of a side of breadsticks. Besides, Farmer H is not supposed to have white bread, but only whole grain. And though not a much better choice, there were wheat Hawaiian Rolls in the cabinet.

The Pony and I convicted Farmer H, but have not yet handed down his sentence. Farmer H really needs to rethink the decision to act as his own defense.


knancy said...

Convict him and demand $250 to get out of jail. That certainly won't cover all of your catering costs, but it will help defraying the cost of those Sonic drinks while you're sweating in the kitchen.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sweating over a tower of soup for His Royal H-ness.