Tuesday, September 14, 2010

There Comes A Time To Put Away Babyish Things

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has an issue with students who walk the hallowed halls of Newmentia while draped in the folds of flowing bed-coverings. This is simply not proper attire in the land of Hillmomba.

Wear a jacket, wear a hoodie, wear a sweater, wear a flannel shirt, grow the hair on your arms really long...but do not wear a 5' x 5' swatch of cloth, no matter how snuggley and soft it may be. I do not drape myself in velour and traipse about spouting knowledge. I can not have in sight in your presence a cell phone, a beverage, a Final Four broadcast, or a social networking site. Since I am not permitted to enjoy items that are prohibited for you, then likewise, I feel that your bed-linen cape should be off limits during school hours. For sure, it is not allowed within the walls of my classroom.

The fact that I did not specifically list this accessory during my Never Ever List expository speech on the first day does not imply that it is permitted. When I tell you in the hall that it is not to be worn inside my classroom, and you argue that it is, and I tell you that you can go get a note from someone superior to me, that is the time to do it. NOT after you flounce into the classroom, interrupt me as I am starting class, and try to hijack the proceedings with an audience. And just so you know, since I allowed you to go seek that note after the bell, you are being charged a tardy, same as any other student leaving the room.

In regards to the writer of the note you brought back, which stated that you could wear your precious shoulder-crutch, only for today, a personal note of explanation is necessary. I truly did not expect such permission to be granted. I would never knowingly send a student on a quest for validation in a game of Good Cop, Bad Cop. Because I was thinking more along a game of Bad Cop, Worse Cop. You see, I have no qualms about my unpopularity due to rule enforcement. I do not care to be buddies with the students. It is my job to prepare them for life. I seriously doubt that the assistant manager would allow this attire on the french fry line.

Students draped in folds of cloth are not in a learning mindset. How can they write, while clinging to the cloth with both hands? What if they are attempting to hide another student's paper that they are copying under cover? Let's not even think about the illicit texting, music-listening, fondling, or exposure that could rear its ugly head. Students have been caught doing the last two right out in the open, for cryin' out loud! Though not in my classroom, thank the Gummi Mary! And I plan to keep it that way.

If this happens again, I'm going to crank that thermostat up to 85, by cracky! IF I can manage to unlock it.


Chickadee said...

You mean to tell me those students are wearing snuggies to school? Really? Please tell me that's not the latest fashion statement among the youngsters now.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Not actual snuggies. Just blankies draped around the shoulders like an old-lady shawl. If I did it, the fashion statement would soon be OH SO UNFASHIONABLE.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I would think that wearing a blanket would defintely violate something in the dress code. Maybe that will have to be added to the dress code........"No wearing of blankets."

Hillbilly Mom said...

You would think. But what you don't know, not being an insider at Newmentia, is that our dress code hasn't been updated in quite a while. It still bans biker shorts unless they're worn under a skirt. I'm not sure how the guys feel about that.