We've Adopted A New Family Member

Last night, a power surge shut me down. Thus, no cryptic message from the Mansion.

Before that little spike in electrons, an even bigger tragedy befell the Hillbilly family. The big-screen TV threw in the towel. OH, THE HUMANITY!!! I can't live without my TV. I certainly don't want to watch the one upstairs with Farmer H. I am not a big fan of How to Murder Your Wife shows. The Pony discovered the tragedy of the big-screen. And believe you me, he was questioned within an inch of his life.

What were you doing just before it broke?
What do you mean it was like that when you turned it on?
How did you turn it on?
The power switch on the TV or on the remote?
Did you bump into it?
Did you hit the wrong button?

Most questions were from the #1 son, but I butted right in. After leaving the two of them alone together, another piece was added to the puzzle. I don't know what form of torture #1 used--be it a drubbing with Nerf gun darts, or the old my bare foot on your face trick, or simply an old-fashioned thumping--but it worked.

Seems that The Pony turned on the TV as usual, then went to play the Wii, and saw the problem in some writing on his game. He then turned off the Wii, but the problem remained. He hadn't noticed it before, because he wasn't looking at the bottom half of the TV screen. It's only 47 inches, you know. How can you expect a Pony's eyes to watch the entire screen at once?

It had been working perfectly when I turned it off at 3:00 a.m. Then we had to go to town, and the boys stayed at Grandma's house so #1 could mow her yard, and it was 2:30 in the afternoon before that big-screen was turned on again. I'm not blaming The Pony. He was just the messenger. That TV was at least 9 years old, a projection TV, by cracky, and #1 thinks something is wrong with one of the three projectors. It was a floor model when Trader H got a deal on it and bought it with his Christmas bonus OH SO MANY long years ago.

The bottom of the screen looked warped, and there were two of things. For instance, the weather warning scrolled across, and it started out normal on the left side, but as it progressed, it split into two sentences. One was purple, and one was green. The people had two mouths, with the top teeth purple, and the bottom teeth green. Depending on the scene, some people had two butts. It made for some interesting watching, but by the end of Big Brother After Dark, I'd had my fill of double butts. #1 had gone into the TV settings, and tried every form of alignment possible, and could not get rid of the problem.

We thought about calling a repairman, but the one Farmer H likes to use has a shop that looks like a hoarder lives there. We had zero success there in finding a replacement remote for our DISH receiver a couple years ago. So if that's the dude we have to have look at it, I vote no. Then we got to thinking how they probably don't even make parts for it any more, and even if they did, it would cost for the service visit, and take a while to order a part, and then the dude would have to come back to put it in, and that still might not be the right solution. So we decided to get a new big-screen, one that's kind of in style, and hope that it will last us for 9 years. They just don't make things like they used to, you know.

#1 had his heart set on an LED, but after pricing them, we decided that if we went with an LCD, we could get a 47-inch instead of a 42-inch, and with the money saved, buy a blu-ray surround sound system. So we did. I was torn between a 47-inch LG LCD, a 42-inch Visio LED, or a 46-inch Sony or Samsung LCD. We went a-shoppin' last night to The Devil's Playground, then to another Playground this morning.

We settled on the Sony 46-inch LCD. #1 has just finished setting it up, and is now running the wires for the Phillips sound system. The picture is FANTASTIC!

#1 says we're naming it TVisa, after a Simpson's episode. They had gotten a new TV, and when Lisa asked Homer a question, he answered, "Yes, TVisa?"

I say there's no freakin' way I'm calling a television 'TVisa.' Any fool can see that this Sony appliance is just begging the name 'Sonny.'

Tonight, #1, Sonny (TVisa?), and I plan to watch Pretty Little Liars.

Let the record show that I DID NOT type in TVisa.

I am being strong-armed into posing a poll. Which is a better name for the new Hillbilly family television: TVisa or Sonny?