The Morning Of My Discontent

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has issues. Make that one great big honkin' issue.

Every day, I stop by Sonic for my current addiction, Diet Coke with Lime. During the week, I have a large. On Friday evenings, and the weekend, I indulge in a Route 44. Every now and then, an attention-deficit waif attempts to take my drive-thru order. She repeats it twice. Wrong. "A Route 44 Diet Coke, no ice?" So I have to correct her. Twice. "No, a Route 44 Diet Coke WITH LIIIIIME!!!" It finally sinks in. Usually. Except for that day when she gave me real Coke, no lime, gave The Pony a medium water and called it Sprite, and cheated the #1 son out of a corn dog.

But that's neither here nor there, because she wasn't working this morning. There was a new dude, who looked like the wheelchair guy on Glee. He repeated the order back to me. Twice. Correctly. "Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime? Will that be all?" Yes. That would be plenty. It was not half price time. I did not bring my coupon for a free Route 44. I paid big bucks for my soda. $2.05.

As always, I had correct change. I forked it over, and he handed me my Route 44. I stowed it in T-Hoe's cup holder as usual. I don't drink it until we get home, because I squeeze the life out of those lime wedges, and discard them so they don't clog up the straw. And I have also been known to add a smidgen of sugar. In case you are wondering, I knew the day that chick gave me real Coke, because it is foamy and Diet Coke isn't. So I made #1 try it, and it was real.

Back at the Mansion, groceries carried in and stashed away, my attention turned to my magnificent Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime. I had a glint in my eye like those Intervention junkies. I popped off the lid...and recoiled in HORROR!

Floating on top of my Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime were FOUR LEMON WEDGES!!!

That Gleeky little doofus did not know the difference between a lime and a lemon! I pulled them out, and the level of my soda dropped about one-third. They are thick-skinned, those lemons. And have seeds. I grabbed a spoon and scooped out the seeds. Then proceeded to Frig for a lime. They're 50 cents apiece, you know.

Is there such a thing as yellow/green color blindness? They need to get that kid off the front lines. What if he's just plain stupid? He might give out mustard instead of ketchup. Quarters instead of pennies. Tens instead of ones.

Some days, I just can't catch a break.