How Do You Know There Is A 16-Year-Old Boy Living In Your House?

1. The refrigerator door is ajar at 10:00 a.m., and nobody has opened it this morning.

2. Two slices of Casey's sausage pizza are missing, yet other occupants of the house proclaim a dislike of sausage pizza.

3. Your husband discovers his snow boots have disappeared from the bedroom, then finds them drying out on the carpet near the tile entryway and doormat.

4. The level of the sugar canister drops at an alarming rate.

5. The question, "Why is there a stain on the leg of your sweatpants?" is answered with, "There is no stain. Where? Oh, that? That's from when I dried my hands."

6. Your kitchen faucet has transformed into some kind of modern hoity-toity fancypants drinking fountain spout.

7. Your mixer is now safely ensconced in a mixer-shaped hollow bent into the bottom of your stack of four foil cake pans.

8. The jeans in the laundry have one leg normal, one leg inside-out.

9. The natural place to leave a 5-foot tall camera tripod is just inside the front door, in the narrow corridor between the couch back and stair railing.

10. If you get up for a few minutes to check on a baking cake, or put laundry in the dryer, your chair becomes occupied within five seconds, necessitating a battle of wills before you can once again rest your aching bones.


And that's just from this morning.