Thursday, June 10, 2010

Death Stalks The Mansion

Farmer H has been away on business since Tuesday. In his absence, his loyal apprentice, The Pony, has been feeding and watering and goat-checking. That's because Goatrude is ready to have a kid. No one takes better care of those animals than The Pony. He is up before 6:30 for their morning feeding, goes out to make sure Nanny isn't stuck in the fence and the two babies are inside the pen at least 3 times a day, and feeds and checks on water in the evening before closing the roosters into their bachelor pad for the night. Nobody could lavish more love on those stinkin' animals than The Pony.

That is why, with heavy heart, I must report that we have lost the turkey and a rabbit. Not lost, as in they got out of the pen. No. They have passed on to the big stockyard in the sky. They have expired. They bit the dust. Kicked the bucket. Took a dirt nap. Bit the big one. Met the Grim Reaper. Death kindly stopped for them.

Yesterday, The Pony reported that the turkey had settled himself on top of the hen pen, and would not get up. I asked at that time if he was breathing. The Pony said he was. Every time he checked, he said that the turkey was just sitting there, with his head up. By evening, I asked if maybe he had a leg stuck in the wire. The Pony tested him, and declared that Turkey could get up, because he flew to another roof when The Pony tried to poke him with a stick. With that, I knew that The Pony didn't have to carry water or food to Turkey, as he was indeed mobile.

This morning, poor Pony stated, "Well, I think that Turkey IS dead now. He is lying down with his eyes open, and not moving." The Pony also said that he hadn't seen the black rabbit since Tuesday, and there was "...a bigger than normal amount of flies around the rabbit cage." Farmer H called from three states away to report his imminent return, and was informed of the deceased. Of course he said, "Well, they were all fine when I left them." Which is a really unfair thing to say, as The Pony will quite likely view it as an endorsement of fault on his part in caring for the livestock.

Farmer H is not very tactful.

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