Thursday, August 5, 2010

Games Pitiots Play

The #1 son taught me a new game today. We were on the way to town, and he shouted YELLOW CAR! After scraping my heart off the windshield, and stuffing it back into my chest, I turned to him and asked, "Have you lost your mind?" And don't worry about me taking my attention off the road. Farmer H drives like this all the time. Which is why he is a master sweaver.

It's a game, Mom. You call it out when you see a yellow car.
Well that's a stupid game!
No it isn't. You played games when you were my age.
No we didn't.
Oh, yeah. You were too busy beating dinosaurs with sticks.
What kind of crazy fundamentalist ARE you?
It's like that stupid game you played with out-of-state license plates or something.
We didn't need stupid games. We had PONG!
Ooooh! Pong!
We had BONG!
Yeah, it must have been hard to play games with a monkey on your back.
It's not like we were on heroin!
Great. Be mad at me because I don't know my drugs.
What's the fun in pointing out yellow cars?
It just is. You get a point for every one you see.
And then what?
The one with the most points at the end wins.
What does he win?
See? It's stupid. Playing a game to win nothing.
We all play. White Shadow and Dad and I played it on the way to Six Flags.
Who won?
Dad, surprisingly enough.
He's only got one eye. And he beat you. What an embarrassment!
Yeah. I don't know how he won.
He didn't have his nose stuck in a phone.
We played on the way to Ole Miss. The Driver won.
And he was drunk.
Well, we played partners, and his only saw one yellow car, but Driver saw nine.
You were texting.
Uh huh. And White Shadow was playing a GameBoy.
You are just pitiful idiots. Pitiots. Playing a game, not very well, to win absolutely nothing.

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