Saturday, March 5, 2011

A Deficiency Of Bicuspids

Maybe it's just me, but I believe that if you are missing three of your upper front teeth (though not in a row), and you work in a job serving the public...even if you don't feel like smiling, you can at least be civil and not snarl and throw chicken breasts at the patrons.

Is that too much to ask? Really? Especially if there is page of large-font printing taped to the hot food case, inviting people to apply for a kitchen job, duties of which include "cheerfully interacting with customers."

It does not matter that you are boxing up gas station chicken. Or that the see-through plastic hairnet you are required to wear is not all that flattering. You must suck it up and deal with your lot in life, or find a way to better yourself. A good start at which would be cheerfully interacting with customers. Seriously.

Maybe you are a vegetarian. Maybe your meth dealer can't make bail. Maybe you are depressed that Tennessee has overtaken Missouri as the number one state for the illegal manufacture of methamphetamine. Take heart. At least we can still claim elementary teachers involved in prostitution rings. From the looks of that photo, you might be able to excel at the world's oldest profession, despite your deficiency of incisors and bicuspids.

Perhaps I should purchase my take-out chicken from a more upscale establishment.


PossumManor said...

Ok, so I just signed up to follow this blog, but just what does that mean? I do not want to see you in any state of undress or brushing your teeth or anything like that.

Do you show up automatically on my home page? In my house?

Once I had a car with OnStar. It would send me monthly reports on the amount and quality of my oil, my tire pressure, and all that kind of stuff. Once my engine light came on and I called them to ask what the problem was. They called back to say my gas cap was on incorrectly. Too much information. I sold the car.

So, back to the stalking I have just signed up to do.....

Hillbilly Mom said...


It's OK for my to call you that, isn't it? To be so informal? Because we're so close now, you following me and all...

You are OH SO RIGHT about not wanting to see me under those conditions. I will not show up to peep through your windows, but I HAVE been known to possess a psychic sense.

As far as I know, signing up as a follower puts a thingy on your Blogger dashboard that lists the updated posts on blogs you follow. So you don't have to keep checking each site to see if they've updated. But in my stalking, I see that you don't have a blog, just a sign-in name. So the whole following business might not be benefiting you to the fullest. Or else you have multiple identities and a blog that you're hiding from me by using the alias of Possum.

I have On-Star in T-Hoe. It's a tracking device of sorts. Forget all their helpfulness in unlocking doors remotely and finding people who've driven over cliffs. It's all a conspiracy to follow our whereabouts. You were right to get rid of that car. You might think about getting rid of your phone next, because the President eavesdrops on our calls. My mom and I hear him breathing, and there's a clicking sound every time we talk about him. ;)

Kathy's Klothesline said...

For a minute I thought the server from my meal yesterday must be moon-lighting with your gas station. But mine had all her front teeth. We all saw them as she chewed my butt out!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Maybe you should just get take-out gas station chicken instead of BBQ. Less butt-chewing.