Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hillbilly Mom's Disaster Preparedness Plan

An ill wind will be blowing tonight, according to various chief meteorologists. Let's hope this is one they miss like the Great Icepocalyse of '11.

Just in case the sun was shining on a dog's butt today, I'm planning to take precautions. My ounce of prevention goes a little something like this:

1. Throw purse, emergency cash, and medicines in a Devil's Playground bag and haul it to the basement. That's beforehand, not when the 5th-wheel camper is crashing through the front window.

2. Bring a working radio to the basement. That's because the Dish usually goes out, and I won't be able to hear the chief meteorologists fervently commanding me to TAKE COVER!

3. Snooze lightly in the recliner upstairs while waiting for the Cyclone of the Century.

4. At the first sound of chickens, goats, bricks, or metal chairs slamming into the front wall, wake Rip Van H and the boys, and hustle them down to the basement.

5. Squelch argument between #1 and The Pony over who will sleep on the couch, and who will get the Toenail Rug. Turn on the radio, and tilt back the recliner. Rip Van H is on his own.

6. Call my mom and see if she is OK.

7. Muddle through the school day, fueled by a couple of hours of sleep.


knancy said...

Make sure to pack your pair of ruby red shoes so you can get back home after gettng knocked into la-la land.

Hillbilly Mom said...

This ain't exactly Kansas. Thank the Gummi Mary, the most energetic storm cells missed us to the north and the south. I'm Even Steven, you know.

labbie1 said...

Being from Kansas...and having been through an F-5 and having stood in the Applebees parking lot another time while a tornado formed right over us (while sirens blared and sane people ran for the coolers for cover) I can just say...don't mess with mother nature!!!!

Glad to hear that it missed you!

Hillbilly Mom said...

You Kansas folk might just as well tie yourselves to a tree with a rope during a tornado, like Mr. S tells his students at Newmentia. Except he isn't from Kansas. And I kind of doubt the rope story.

I do worry when the winds twirl, because we sit high on a hill in Hillmomba. The Mansion will never flood, but it might take flight.

labbie1 said...

At least the mansion has an underground room!

I don't believe I would try the rope and tree thing after seeing the trees after a tornado hit. Takes "any port in a storm" to a whole new level! Yikes!