Sunday, May 2, 2010

If You Give A Girl A Casino Comp

If you give your daughter your free room comp from Harrah's in St. Charles, she will invite her friends to join her in celebrating her 21st birthday at the casino.

Since her friends are, after all, just 21-year-old dudes themselves, they will not discern a difference between Harrah's St. Charles, and a Harrah's in Illinois.

Due to their 21ness, the friends are stoked that even though the check-in desk at Harrah's St. Charles has no reservation for them, and no rooms available for that Friday night, a dude named 'Bill' just back from Iraq has a room to himself and offers to let them stay with him.

Your daughter and her girlfriends, on the highway from Hillmomba to St. Charles, will desperately beg the boys not to stay with Bill. "No. It's my birthday. I'm not going to be responsible for you getting raped or killed in a Harrah's hotel room! We'll squeeze you into our room. Six isn't much more than four."

Upon arrival, your daughter will find that the dudes have invited Bill to the birthday dinner. That's OK, because with 12 other people, Bill should be minding his Ps and Qs and not pulling any shenanigans. One of the dudes keeps trying to talk to Bill across the table at dinner by yelling, "Bill. Bill!" He gets no response, which is surely a sign that 'Bill' is not who he says he is, and is, perhaps, a lonely perv who hangs out at casinos every Friday night trolling for fresh hayseeds from Hillmomba.

Your daughter will find a way to ditch Bill after dinner, proceed to win and lose a couple of hundred dollars but not remember it, return home with the $50 she took to gamble with, and declare that next time she goes, she will listen to her friend's advice and not drink while gambling, and not feed all of her winnings back to the one-armed bandit.

But then again...that friend is the one who was planning to spend the night with Bill.


Happy Birthday to my niece, the seasoned gambler! And congratulations to my sister, who won $200 on her free Harrah's $10 voucher.

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