Saturday, May 8, 2010

We Have A Hovercraft

No, I'm not doing an Orbitz commercial. We have a hovercraft here at the Mansion. Don't look for this model at your local hovercraft dealer, however. Ours is the 2010 Hovercraft H.

The Hovercraft H hovers nearby when you're in the middle of something. It is not there to assist, but to observe in a critical manner. Washing the dishes by hand in your dishwasherless kitchen? The Hovercraft H will hover at the kitchen table, watching silently except for intermittent snorts when all the suds are not quite rinsed away from an occasional fork.

Removing clothes from the washer to put in the dryer? The Hovercraft H will drift through the laundry room and need access to the laundry sink between those two appliances at that very moment.

Folding laundry in the living room? Make room for the Hovercraft H, which seems to have an aversion to cable news programming, marked by bursts of explosive exhaust until the channel is changed to reruns of Ax Men.

Sitting in your dark basement lair, typing on your desktop? Beware the sudden, sneaky arrival of the Hovercraft H. This machine not only idles, it sidles. Yep. The Hovercraft H sidles like a champ, sidles to beat the band, sidles to the envy of that Elaine Benes co-worker who received an unsolicited gift of TicTacs in her misguided effort to predict his whereabouts.

Won't you order your Hovercraft H today? Better hurry...there's only one left in stock.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

As inviting as that offer sounds..... no, thanks, I have my own.

Hillbilly Mom said...

But I insist.

That statement reminds me of my friend before her divorce, which she didn't know she was going to get at the time, as she is not psychic like me. Her husband jokingly asked her if she was cheating on him, and she rolled her eyes and said, "I have YOU. Why would I want another one?"