Something Is Afoot

The mysterious occurrences which plague the Mansion had abated a bit, except for the night-walking. But this week they've been back in full force. I blame myself.

Several nights ago, I fell asleep in my basement recliner. I awoke around 1:00 a.m., and got caught up in an episode of Beyond Scared Straight. There's nothing that pleases Mrs. Hillbilly Mom like hardened criminals giving a comeuppance to spoiled little jackwagons of tender adolescent years. During commercials, I found Celebrity Ghost Stories on the Biography channel, which seems to be free this month on Dish Network.

I know better than to watch that stuff at night. Really. But I was wide awake by then. Snow was pouring down from that unannounced Friday night blizzard that brought us 5 inches. The power had gone off for about 30 seconds around 8:30, just long enough to knock out the furnace and the satellite until they rebooted themselves. The lights came right back on, but my New Delly shut down. Shiba the laptop either stayed on, or the #1 son got her going again upstairs. So I should have known better than to watch a scary show, especially with a chance of the power going off. I've been carrying a little flashlight since the Great Icepocalypse of '11, just for that reason. But I had left it in my office.

Just the night before, The Pony and I had started watching Ghosts Caught on Tape: Fact of Fiction. But it looked too fake for me, so we quit. But not before we started hearing footsteps in The Pony's room upstairs. Usually, they just start around midnight or later.

Sooo...I switched a couple times from the Scared Straight brats to see Barry Williams, that's Greg Brady to me, talking about scattering his father's ashes at sea, and his toddler talking to his dead dad in the bathroom of the boat, and the water running in the sink, and his dead dad's initials appearing on the mirror, and the mist around the crow's nest when Greg took a picture of the flag being lowered for the ceremony. And since that gosh-darned Biography channel blares on the spooky music at the crucial points in every celebrity's ghost story, my heart skipped a beat and I had a vision of the power going off. But no. Only the lamp went off. Twice. And came back on. With a couple of minutes in between the flickerings. Which kind of set the hairs on the back of my neck to waving.

Since I was scared, I had to wait until Scared Straight was over to go upstairs to bed. And then until part-way through another Scared Straight. Because I had been hearing the walking again. I tried to tell myself that it was The Pony going to the bathroom, or the #1 son getting his medicine before bed. That's what I always pretend when there are people in the Mansion with me. It's harder to lie to myself when they're gone somewhere overnight.

I finally went up, and checked on the boys with the help of the 6000-watt hall light. It's the only bulb in the house that Amp Miser H allows to cast some light. He must never turn it on. Anyway, I saw that The Pony had his comforter over his face, so I went in his room and exposed him to life-sustaining oxygen. I could not make out the head of #1 in his room, so I turned on his overhead light. He was fine. I changed clothes in my bathroom on the other end of the Mansion, and went to bed. After about five minutes, I heard a pill bottle fall out of the cabinet and onto the stone countertop. Oh, there was no actual pill bottle falling out of the closed cabinet doors. It was just the sound of one falling. An empty pill bottle.

These sounds on my end of the Mansion are fairly new, just since my grandma died and came back to visit Farmer H while he was winding her cuckoo clock in the kitchen. These noises are mostly in the bathroom. And they're not every night, like the walking at the other end of the house. Then I heard walking in the living room. Again, I told myself it must have been The Pony or #1 coming to ask me something. But nobody came in the bedroom.

The next morning, I did not mention any of this to anybody. Farmer H always made fun of me until the kitchen door came open while he was home alone winding that clock. And it only makes The Pony nervous. And #1 wants to tell about the little white figure he saw going into his bathroom that time. Which I do not want to hear about.

But Saturday morning, #1 got up spoiling for a fight. "Which one of you unplugged my speakers?" The Pony swore that he was asleep. And he never goes into #1's room unless summoned there, because he values his life.

What do you mean, unplug your speakers?

I was listening to my music. And when I woke up this morning, the wire from the back was pulled out and laying on top of the speaker.

Well, I didn't do it. I don't even know what wire you're talking about. I didn't notice anything when I checked on you around 2:30.

Was my music playing?

No.

I turned it on when I went to bed at 12:30.

You went to bed at 12:30? You weren't walking around in the kitchen?

No. I was tired. I went to sleep listening to music.


I'm hoping he just unplugged that speaker in his sleep.