Friday, June 24, 2011

Dodging The Black Flag Bullet

Can you keep a secret? I don't want PETA to get wind of this.

Yesterday I sprayed a gaggle of wasp nests that were hanging around the porch. I bagged 16 big bad paper wasps, and about 8 nests. In the well-planned assault, I avoided spraying into the wind. I cautioned The Pony to stand back so the nests wouldn't fall on his head. Because I'm a loving mother like that.

A slight problem arose on the third nest. Our beagle, Tank, was enjoying a nap beside the Weber grills, directly under the nest. I told The Pony to call him. The dogs and cats don't really respond to The Pony, though the goats and chickens love him. Except for that one black-and-white checked banty rooster who attacks his leg every time he gets a chance. Giving his best effort, The Pony grabbed Tank's front feet and pulled him several feet. Tank did not even bother to arise. He didn't seem to mind losing a bit of fur and skin off his doggy elbows. But that's not the secret part.

I sprayed that nest with my Black Flag Wasp and Hornet Killer that sprays 29 feet. Some of the spray dripped sideways, due to the wind. It dripped on Tank's back. Not much. Not even enough to make him get up. That dog is good at conserving energy.

The Pony and I concluded our murderous rampage around the porch. We hopped in T-Hoe to run some errands. When we returned, we say Tank laying in the yard between our driveway and they neighbor's barbed-wire fence. He didn't move. Normally, the dogs at least lift their heads and thump their tails as a show of good faith that they appreciate us and would really like us to continue feeding them. Tank did not move. Not his head, not his tail.

My mind conjured up the wasps, getting drenched with Black Flag, flying off the nest...and dropping dead within five seconds. Tank wasn't drenched. He didn't incur much more liquid chemical on his body than a middle school girl primping for the Sweetheart Dance. Could it have affected his nervous system? Had he staggered off the porch, past the garage, to rest in peace at the edge of the property?

Naw. The Pony saw his ribs move. He was just sleeping soundly.


Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

Sleeping soundly....or paralyzed by mind blowing hallucinations.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I am sure the hallucinations involved a ring of hams, chicken legs, and rabbits circling his noggin.