I Stayed Too Long At The Fair

No. I didn't really stay too long at the fair. My post is late tonight because I stayed too long at the library for a meeting. And then took the boys to General Custard's ReTreat for a tasty concrete. But the fair would have been much more fun.

If I stayed too long at the fair, I could have eaten cotton candy and smelled corn dogs and maybe shared one of those towering potato chip thingies made of one long ribbon of potato. And I could have watched The Pony win an inflatable sword or head-whacking hammer by picking up a floating plastic duck (EVERYONE'S A WINNER). Or let both boys throw darts at balloons to win mirrored posters of various alcohol or big hair bands that will never hang on a wall in our Mansion. Or let them try to roll that bowling ball down that metal track to win some prize I can't remember because it's impossible to win. Or play that quarter-pushing game and put all my winnings back into it until I'm broke. Or try the grabber game to pick up junk like a tiny beer mug.

I would never ride the Ferris wheel like I did in my youth, when I got stuck on the top for about 15 minutes with my daredevil cousin who rocked our gondola unnecessarily. Perhaps I would do the Tilt-A-Whirl. Or the big merry-go-round. But not the spider. Or the swings. Because you are just one link away from a painful mutilation or possible death. Don't even get me started on the new rides these young whippersnappers seek these days. Not even the giant inflatable magic carpet slide can lure me.

A fair is certainly more fun than a library.