Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Too Many Spoil The Broth

Just when I thought it was safe to back in the yard...do you hear the Jaws music pumping? Let me string you along for a couple of paragraphs.

Farmer H has finally stopped buying unwanted livestock every month. I would like to take credit for his lack of furry and feathered friend adoptions, but I think the real reason is that the animal auction was shut down. Somehow someone found some law somewhere that said a veterinarian must be on duty at the animal auction. I don't know if this is a statewide statute, or just for the county, or what the legalities are. All I know is thank the Gummi Mary, the influx of critters has stopped.

Or so I thought.

Farmer H used to sneak in the four-legged family members while I wasn't looking. He would make The Pony promise not to tell. Rabbits, turkeys, new goats, guineas, and crates and crates of roosters used to rear their unwanted heads round about Monday or Tuesday, after the Sunday animal auction. At first Farmer H would play dumb. Heh, heh. Like he has an aptitude for acting. I would point out the new offender, and Non-Oscar-Contender H would say, "Oh, that one? He's been here a long time. He's not new." Yeah. Right.

Imagine my surprise this evening, upon stepping out onto the porch to fling some Cookie Crisp cereal and some shriveled apples (because even fowl need a balanced diet) to the chickens, only to find...


I do not like the two guineas that we have now. They are bullies, they are loud, and their call is an annoying eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh noise that grates on my last nerve. They chase the chickens away from the food, don't lay eggs, are not cute, and have freaky faces. I am not a guinea lover.

I hollered to Farmer H, "Hey! When did we get the extra guinea?"

"We don't have an extra guinea."

"Yes, we do."

"No. There's only the two."

"Then where did THAT one come from?"

"What other one? Hey! One must have flown in from somewhere."

"Didn't the neighbors across the road have some?"

"No. They just had an old rooster."

"Well, it came from somewhere."

"They always say you can't keep guineas."

"Well, apparently WE can."

"Huh. I guess we have three now."

He was so surprised, I actually believe him. Somehow, we have been graced with a spare guinea. It looks just as ugly as the other two, but is a tiny bit smaller, with a tiny bit more white on its homely face. I want to put a sign on the mailboxes to see if anybody lost one.

Or three.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

Ducks, you need ducks. And geese. Emu, why doesn't he have emu?? I have an emu egg. They are really big. Met a lady with an emu ranch, she was selling emu oil for arthritic pain. I swear to you that she was dressed in a long flowing skirt , like a gypsy. Cher's song was playing in the back of my mind as she extolled the virtues of her product and I couldn't help but call it "Dr. Good". My mind wanders, you know.

Hillbilly Mom said...

People on the back entrance road used to have emus. They were a spooky sight. Especially when one escaped, and Farmer H and The Pony saw it in a field several miles away, where no emus were anticipated.

Nope, no emus or ducks or geese for us. But Farmer H heard that donkeys and llamas are good watchdogs for goats, so I hope one of them does not appear.

I love that song! Did you lay your money down? For the emu oil, I mean.